Hiya Folks

Your site, your rules. This has been the golden rule since the first BBS systems went up and was followed when the first text only web sites appeared. And in my personal opinion, should always be the rule. I bring that up because it is a good lead-in to my topic today, Adult webmaster chat boards.

The days of having just one place to mingle with fellow site owners is gone. Has been for years. Over this last week I've visited a lot of the boards out there. Some for the first time. Some I recall when they launched. Interesting mix, to be sure. The activity, content, feeling of community spirit, pissing, and all the rest range from soup to nuts. But then, doesn't the type of people in this business have the same range? I mean think about it. We have folks in their late teens, old timers, swingers and shy folks, pimps and mom and pop. Each have different goals, objectives, personal integrity, backgrounds, skills, etc. When you think about it like that, it's really a wonder any of us get along.

Having worked, monitored, and maintained online communities for more years than I care to admit, I can understand the frustration that's felt when a place you've been a regular of suddenly changes or heads in a new direction. You feel you have a vested interest and are disappointed that the board owner doesn't see the same thing you see as valuable about their site. But here's where you need to remember, their board, their rules and the day you no longer agree with them is the day you need to find a new place to hang out. As site owner, they have every right to do with their resources as they see fit. Your right is to participate only at the places that are a good fit with you personally.

Few of us fit easily into any single category or on any single board. In my experience, what generally happens is you find one place to use as 'home base' and have a list of several other places where you feel comfortable enough to participate. You spot check a few others just to stay up to speed and that's that. Most of us simply don't have the time or inclination to spend all day every day on the boards.

So, what does all this mean? I wouldn't presume to tell you what it means to you. That's always a decision you make for yourself. But what it means for me is that I'll find places that I feel are used by like minded folks and participate and wish those other places the best of luck with their folks. Sure, give them your feedback, and share your opinions, but if after you've tried that it still doesn't feel right, just point your browser in another direction. They'll live without you just as you will without them. But having made the choice ... YOUR CHOICE you'll be surprised how much better you'll feel.

Remember, this is supposed to be fun.

be well

- Khan